brennen
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lurkers-guide



								<h3>Synopsis by Matthew Murray (mmurray@cc.wwu.edu)</h3>


								<p>

								"Personal Log, January 8, 2261, Doctor Stephen Franklin reporting.

								It's been fourteen days since Captain Sheridan was presumed killed on

								Z'ha'dum--nine days since Mr. Garibaldi disappeared on patrol outside

								the station.  MedLab's quiet these days.  The League of Non-Aligned

								Worlds has broken up and everyone's going back to their homeworlds to

								prepare for the next stage of war.  We know the enemy's gonna strike

								back.  Rumor has it that this time's gonna be the last time.  This

								time, they're gonna end it.  All we can do now is wait for the other

								shoe to drop, or try and find something useful to do before the end.

								And right now, short of hand-holding or a sympathetic ear, I can't

								think of one damn thing..."


								<p>

								Lennier enters MedLab as Franklin is recording and tells him that he is

								committing a breach of protocol, but that there is a problem with

								Delenn.


								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/awaken.jpeg" alt="">

								Sheridan is floating deep in blackness, facing a creature glowing with

								an inner light--its two tentacles hold him firm, and a voice resonates

								two questions "Who are you?" and "What do you want?" over and over

								again.  Sheridan wakes up, and the figure standing over him asks him

								what he was dreaming about.  The man already knows he's thinking about

								escape, and tells Sheridan he should give up the attempt.  The man

								knows Sheridan still wants to know his name; he says it's

								Lorien, and asks a series of questions, eventually ending

								in the conundrum of which came first--the word that created the

								universe, or the thought behind it?  Lorien knows Sheridan is still

								involved in the question he wants to ask--Who are you?  Sheridan is

								surprised Lorien knows the significance of that question, and Lorien tells

								him the point of the question is that there is never a good answer.  He

								tells Sheridan further that the question of what Sheridan is is

								easy--he's dead.  Sheridan doesn't believe him, but can find no

								proof, even in the form of a pulse, that he is actually alive.


								<p>

								Sheridan refuses to believe that he's dead, and insists it's a trick.

								Lorien asks him what the last thing he remembers is.  Sheridan only

								remembers falling, seemingly forever.  Lorien tells him that nothing

								goes on forever, and that everyone hits bottom sooner or later.  Lorien

								asks Sheridan if he hit the bottom of the abyss, but Sheridan doesn't

								know.  Either Sheridan did, and he is dead, or he didn't, and is still

								falling.  Lorien also suggests he could be in-between, and Sheridan

								asks what he could be in between.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/chat.jpeg" alt="">

								"Between moments," Lorien tells him.  "When we are born, we are

								allocated a finite number of seconds.  Each tick of the clock slices

								off a piece of us.  Tick.  A possibility for joy is gone.  Tock.  A

								careless word ends one path, opens another.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.

								Always running out of time.  Yours is almost used up.  You're between

								seconds--lost in the infinite possibilities between tick and tock.

								Tick.  You're alive.  Tock....  Well, it was a good life, but a short

								one.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  Tick..."


								<p>

								Sheridan grabs Lorien and demands to know what's going on, if he's

								behind it all.  "Who are you?" he asks, and remembers part of his

								dream.


								<p>

								"You're closer now, aren't you?  Yes, I see you are.  But closer to

								tick or closer to tock?  I don't know.  Only time will tell.  And here,

								between the moments, we have all the time in the world..."


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/part.jpeg" alt="">

								G'Kar walks into a tavern filled with people and the strains of loud

								futuristic rock music.  He steps over to a table and speaks to a man,

								telling him he heard he could find information about a piece of

								Starfury the man sold to a trader elsewhere.  The man says it was

								salvage, and therefore legal, but G'Kar wants to know where it came

								from, since it belongs to the Starfury Garibaldi was in when he

								disappeared.  The man doesn't want to talk, but G'Kar demands to know

								how he knew where to find it.  When things begin to turn violent, the

								bartender intervenes, and tries to kick G'Kar out, something G'Kar

								doesn't like.  Before the bartender can do anything else, a man nearby

								raises up his hood, revealing himself as Marcus, and a short fight

								ensues, during which both he and G'Kar escape.  The bartender sends two

								Centauri guards after them, while he speaks to another one about

								another matter.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/fasting.jpeg" alt="">

								The chime on Delenn's quarters rings several times before she answers

								it and Dr.  Franklin steps in.  She asks if there is a problem, and he

								asks her if she is having a problem, since she hasn't had anything to

								eat or drink in a week, which, although commonplace for normal Minbari,

								may not be healthy for her.  Delenn says that justice is served by her fast,

								and everything that has happened has been her fault, and she tells

								Franklin she is very upset that she broke the bond and the trust

								between she and Sheridan.  She admits that she loved him and wanted to

								protect him, but thinks she should have trusted him more than she did.

								She tells Franklin that her fast will continue, and that should

								Sheridan be dead, her soul will join his, and she will see him again,

								in "the place where no shadows fall."  Franklin leaves her alone with

								her grief.


								<p>

								Marcus comes in from the outside, and reports to G'Kar that the

								Centauri guards are still chasing them.  G'Kar doesn't know why, and

								Marcus explains that he is worried for exactly that reason.  G'Kar says

								he thinks Marcus worries too much, but wants to know why he's there.

								Marcus says he came to look after him in case he got into trouble.

								G'Kar tells Marcus that he is planning to go back later and find out

								more about Garibaldi's Starfury, but Marcus offers to do it instead,

								since the guards are all too eager to find G'Kar.  Marcus asks G'Kar

								why he is risking so much for Garibaldi, and G'Kar tells him that he is

								doing it because Garibaldi was his friend, and he never had a friend

								who wasn't a Narn.  Marcus says he's doing it because he never had a

								friend who was a Narn--when he had them at all.  G'Kar picks up Marcus'

								pike and looks at it, accidentally extending it while doing so.  G'Kar

								says he likes the weapon very much.


								<p>

								The Centauri guards are with the bartender, looking through several

								photos of Narns that may have been involved in the altercation in the

								bar, and he eventually finds a photo of G'Kar and is able to identify

								him.  The guards tell him there is a reward on G'Kar--dead or alive.

								Meanwhile, the man from the bar awakens--due to Marcus dripping water

								in his face.  Marcus threatens him, and demands to know where he got

								the piece of the Starfury.


								<p>

								Delenn arrives in Captain Sheridan's quarters, where Franklin is going

								through Sheridan's personal effects on Ivanova's orders.  While

								looking through Sheridan's files, he found something he felt Delenn

								should see.  He hands her a data crystal which she plays as soon as

								Franklin leaves.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/log.jpeg" alt="">

								"Personal log," says Sheridan on the screen, "May 14, 2260.  We

								actually had a quiet day today--it's hard to believe with so much going

								on lately.  Now that we've broken away from Earth, everything has hit

								the fan.  It's not what I wanted.  Frankly, it scares the hell out of

								me, but it had to be done.  The job now is to turn this around and make

								it into something positive.  My dad always told me that's the only way

								you deal with pain.  You don't surrender, you don't fight it--you turn

								it into something positive.  He used to say, 'If you're falling off a

								cliff, you may as well try to fly.  You've got nothing to lose.'  And

								in a way, I feel the same way about Delenn.  During the war, I fought

								Minbari, I killed Minbari, saw many of my friends die at Minbari

								hands.  Here I am, in love with one of them.  For a long time, I

								thought about not saying anything, but...  The moment my heart crossed

								that line, there wasn't much I could do but see it through.  Yeah, I've

								fallen off one hell of a cliff, but when I look in her eyes, I let

								myself think, maybe I really can fly."


								<p>

								Marcus explains to G'Kar that the man got the location of the Starfury

								from Interplanetary Expeditions, and that person would get one tenth of

								the purchase price.  G'Kar says he plans to go to the place where the

								ship was found to search out for more information.  G'Kar says that

								Marcus should go back to Babylon 5 and search for the person from

								Interplanetary Expeditions, and that Marcus should leave before he gets

								offended.  G'Kar says he needs Babylon 5's resources more than he needs

								Marcus' help.  Marcus leaves as G'Kar lays down to sleep.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/capture.jpeg" alt="">

								G'Kar awakens to the sound of footsteps, and sees shadows outside.  As

								they come closer, he grips his firearm tightly, but when they enter the

								room, even though he gets off a few shots, he is taken down and knocked

								unconscious.


								<p>

								Delenn and Lennier stand before the gathering of Rangers, and Delenn

								tells them that, even though most of their work has, until this time,

								gone unnoticed, they must strike a blow that will serve as an example

								to all the others.  Lennier explains to them that the League of

								Non-Aligned Worlds has dissolved, and that they must find those who

								still believe in their cause.  He says they need a single rallying cry,

								and Delenn wants it to be the Rangers.  She says their plan is to wait

								seven days, for any other ships, and then attack Z'ha'dum.  They have a

								small chance of success, but they must try anyway.  She tells the

								Rangers that, with this attack, she is offering them the same chance to

								fly that she heard in Sheridan's log.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/gift.jpeg" alt="">

								There is a knocking at Londo's door, and after taking up a weapon in

								case of danger, he answers the door to find the Emperor's advisor,

								who says the Emperor wants Londo to come immediately.  Londo

								changes out of his night clothes and goes to the Emperor's throne

								room.  Though Emperor Cartagia is initially upset at the delay, he

								tells Londo that he wishes to present him with a gift.  Londo attempts

								to refuse, but Cartagia won't let him, and knows it's something Londo

								has been waiting for for a long time.  Cartagia activates a signal, and

								two Centauri guards enter flanking G'Kar, who is wearing a yoke.  Cartagia

								says G'Kar is there for their amusement and that, should the amusement

								cease, G'Kar will die.  Londo, not knowing what to say, decides only to

								thank Cartagia for the gift.  Cartagia asks G'Kar if he has anything to

								say, and G'Kar asks him only if he knows where Garibaldi is.  "Who?"

								asks Cartagia.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/gbaldi.jpeg" alt="">

								Garibaldi is, in fact, in a solidly built, round room, as if an

								observation room, with no windows and a well-sealed door.  Garibaldi

								pounds against it, but to no avail.  A voice coming from unseen

								speakers tells him to refrain, as he might hurt himself.  Garibaldi

								asks why they can't allow that, and the voice says merely that they

								have their orders.  Garibaldi asks who the orders came from, but the voice

								won't tell him.  The voice wants only to know what happened after he

								left Babylon 5, and Garibaldi insists he doesn't remember, but the

								voice says his vital signs indicate he isn't being honest.  This

								outrages Garibaldi, but the voice only wants to hear the truth.  It

								asks him time and again what happens, but Garibaldi insists he doesn't

								remember.  Garibaldi loses control and begins smashing everything in

								sight, including his chair and the lights in the room.  His rampage is

								soon stopped, however, when a gas pours from vents in the floor,

								knocking him unconscious.  The door to the room opens and someone

								wearing a gas mask--atop their PsiCorps uniform-- steps into the room.


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/call.jpeg" alt="">

								Londo enters G'Kar's cell, where the Narn is sitting in the corner.  Londo

								says it was foolish for G'Kar to leave Babylon 5, and that he was

								followed as soon as he left.  Londo tells G'Kar that, if he wanted to

								die, he could have attended to it, but that, on Centauri Prime, he will

								be afforded no such courtesy, and he will be tortured by

								Cartagia--treated as a toy.  G'Kar will suffer for days, weeks, or

								months, but when they are done, G'Kar will die a very time-consuming

								and painful death, each of his organs being removed one at a time.

								G'Kar asks if the idea pleases Londo, and Londo admits that it doesn't,

								and that it never would have.  Londo says he would not wish G'Kar's

								fate on anyone.  Londo tells G'Kar that Cartagia is a monster, and that

								he must be removed.  G'Kar may be the means by which it can

								be accomplished, but he will suffer greatly--something Londo

								can't prevent.  Londo tells G'Kar he must endure until the time is

								right, at which point Londo will act.  Londo asks if G'Kar will help,

								but he doesn't answer.  Londo begins to leave, and G'Kar tells him the

								price for his assistance--he will help remove Cartagia only if Londo

								will free Narn.  Londo promises this to G'Kar, and then leaves the

								room, casting a bright light onto G'Kar as he exits.


								<p>

								Sheridan, still trekking through the tunnels in Z'ha'dum, finds the

								fire he set when he first woke up.  He realizes he has come full

								circle, and Lorien says everyone does eventually.  Sheridan knows there

								must be some way out, but Lorien says that the only way out is to

								surrender to Tock.  Sheridan says he can't die, since he must aid the

								Army of Light in the war, to prevent billions of deaths.


								<p>

								"It's a terrible thing when your children fight," Lorien tells him.  "I

								warned the others, but they didn't listen.  They never listen."


								<p>

								"Your... children?" Sheridan asks.


								<p>

								"Metaphorically speaking.  Those who came after me.  Children.  Younger

								siblings."


								<p>

								"How long have you been here?"


								<p>

								"A long time.  So long... I was old when the molecules of your world

								joined and called themselves land and sea and fish and man."


								<p>

								"You're one of the First Ones."


								<p>

								"No, not one of the First Ones.  I am The First One."


								<br clear=all>

								<p>

								<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/lorien.jpeg" alt="">

								Sheridan knows Lorien knows a way out of Z'ha'dum, but wants to know

								why he has stayed for so long.  Lorien says he's waiting for someone,

								and that Sheridan is the first to make it as far as he has.  Sheridan

								asks if the Shadows know, and Lorien says they do-- that's why they come

								back to Z'ha'dum.  They believe they're showing respect, but they

								don't understand.  "They used to," Lorien says, "but that was a long

								time ago.  A million years."  Sheridan says Lorien doesn't look as old

								as he is, and Lorien says he doesn't at the moment.  Sheridan finally

								realizes his dream was of Lorien.


								<p>

								"Did you know you have a Vorlon inside you?" Lorien asks.  "Well, a

								piece of one."


								<p>

								"If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die," Sheridan remembers Kosh saying.

								"Jump... Jump now..."


								<p>

								"Kosh..." Sheridan realizes.


								<p>

								"Is that its name?  I think I met it once, long ago."


								<p>

								"He told me to jump.  Did he know..."


								<p>

								"That I was here?  Almost certainly."


								<p>

								"How..."


								<p>

								"They can break off pieces of their conciousness and put it into other

								organisms.  It allows them to travel hidden through the galaxy, using

								others as their eyes and ears.  Kosh is in you, and he's part of the

								problem.  You're the other part.  You're both still clinging to life,

								both afraid to let go.  You must lay down the burden of life, both of

								you, and surrender yourself to Tock."


								<p>

								"No, I can't," Sheridan says.  "The others need me..."


								<p>

								"You can't turn away from death simply because you're afraid of what

								might happen without you.  That's not enough.  You're not embracing

								life, you're fleeing death.  So you're caught in-between, unable to go

								forward or backward.  Your friends need what you can be when you are no

								longer afraid--when you know who you are, and why you are, and what you

								want.  When you are no longer looking for reasons to live, but can

								simply be."


								<p>

								"I can't... I don't know how to do that."


								<p>

								"Then I cannot help you, and you will be caught forever in-between.

								You must let go.  Surrender yourself to death.  The death of flesh.

								The death of fear.  Step into the abyss... and let go."


								<p>

								"It's getting darker," Sheridan says, and the light around him starts

								to vanish.


								<p>

								"I know.  You're close, friend.  Very close.  It's easy to find

								something worth dying for.  Do you have anything worth living for?"


								<p>

								"I can't see you anymore..."


								<p>

								"As it should be."


								<p>

								"What if I fall?  How will I know if you'll catch me?"


								<p>

								"I caught you before."


								<p>

								"What if I die?"


								<p>

								"I cannot create life, but I can breathe on the remaining embers.  It

								may not work."


								<p>

								"But I can hope..."


								<p>

								As the world around him disappears completely, the words of Lorien

								continue to echo.  "Hope is all we have."


								<p>

								Sheridan then begins to reexperience his emergence onto the balcony

								above the abyss, and his leap into it, as Lorien's voice echoes, asking

								him again, "Do you have anything worth living for?"


								<p>

								While he falls, he remembers the voice of someone, a long time ago, on

								the original White Star.  "Sleep now.  I will watch, and catch you if

								you should fall."


								<p>

								Lorien stands over the body of Sheridan, outstretched at the bottom of

								the abyss, after Sheridan delivers his answer, in the form of a single

								word.


								<p>

								"Delenn!"