lurkers-guide/synops/068

<h3>Synopsis by Matthew Murray (mmurray@cc.wwu.edu)</h3>

<p>
"Personal Log, January 8, 2261, Doctor Stephen Franklin reporting.
It's been fourteen days since Captain Sheridan was presumed killed on
Z'ha'dum--nine days since Mr. Garibaldi disappeared on patrol outside
the station.  MedLab's quiet these days.  The League of Non-Aligned
Worlds has broken up and everyone's going back to their homeworlds to
prepare for the next stage of war.  We know the enemy's gonna strike
back.  Rumor has it that this time's gonna be the last time.  This
time, they're gonna end it.  All we can do now is wait for the other
shoe to drop, or try and find something useful to do before the end.
And right now, short of hand-holding or a sympathetic ear, I can't
think of one damn thing..."

<p>
Lennier enters MedLab as Franklin is recording and tells him that he is
committing a breach of protocol, but that there is a problem with
Delenn.

<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/awaken.jpeg" alt="">
Sheridan is floating deep in blackness, facing a creature glowing with
an inner light--its two tentacles hold him firm, and a voice resonates
two questions "Who are you?" and "What do you want?" over and over
again.  Sheridan wakes up, and the figure standing over him asks him
what he was dreaming about.  The man already knows he's thinking about
escape, and tells Sheridan he should give up the attempt.  The man
knows Sheridan still wants to know his name; he says it's
Lorien, and asks a series of questions, eventually ending
in the conundrum of which came first--the word that created the
universe, or the thought behind it?  Lorien knows Sheridan is still
involved in the question he wants to ask--Who are you?  Sheridan is
surprised Lorien knows the significance of that question, and Lorien tells
him the point of the question is that there is never a good answer.  He
tells Sheridan further that the question of what Sheridan is is
easy--he's dead.  Sheridan doesn't believe him, but can find no
proof, even in the form of a pulse, that he is actually alive.

<p>
Sheridan refuses to believe that he's dead, and insists it's a trick.
Lorien asks him what the last thing he remembers is.  Sheridan only
remembers falling, seemingly forever.  Lorien tells him that nothing
goes on forever, and that everyone hits bottom sooner or later.  Lorien
asks Sheridan if he hit the bottom of the abyss, but Sheridan doesn't
know.  Either Sheridan did, and he is dead, or he didn't, and is still
falling.  Lorien also suggests he could be in-between, and Sheridan
asks what he could be in between.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/chat.jpeg" alt="">
"Between moments," Lorien tells him.  "When we are born, we are
allocated a finite number of seconds.  Each tick of the clock slices
off a piece of us.  Tick.  A possibility for joy is gone.  Tock.  A
careless word ends one path, opens another.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.
Always running out of time.  Yours is almost used up.  You're between
seconds--lost in the infinite possibilities between tick and tock.
Tick.  You're alive.  Tock....  Well, it was a good life, but a short
one.  Tick, tock.  Tick, tock.  Tick..."

<p>
Sheridan grabs Lorien and demands to know what's going on, if he's
behind it all.  "Who are you?" he asks, and remembers part of his
dream.

<p>
"You're closer now, aren't you?  Yes, I see you are.  But closer to
tick or closer to tock?  I don't know.  Only time will tell.  And here,
between the moments, we have all the time in the world..."

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/part.jpeg" alt="">
G'Kar walks into a tavern filled with people and the strains of loud
futuristic rock music.  He steps over to a table and speaks to a man,
telling him he heard he could find information about a piece of
Starfury the man sold to a trader elsewhere.  The man says it was
salvage, and therefore legal, but G'Kar wants to know where it came
from, since it belongs to the Starfury Garibaldi was in when he
disappeared.  The man doesn't want to talk, but G'Kar demands to know
how he knew where to find it.  When things begin to turn violent, the
bartender intervenes, and tries to kick G'Kar out, something G'Kar
doesn't like.  Before the bartender can do anything else, a man nearby
raises up his hood, revealing himself as Marcus, and a short fight
ensues, during which both he and G'Kar escape.  The bartender sends two
Centauri guards after them, while he speaks to another one about
another matter.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/fasting.jpeg" alt="">
The chime on Delenn's quarters rings several times before she answers
it and Dr.  Franklin steps in.  She asks if there is a problem, and he
asks her if she is having a problem, since she hasn't had anything to
eat or drink in a week, which, although commonplace for normal Minbari,
may not be healthy for her.  Delenn says that justice is served by her fast,
and everything that has happened has been her fault, and she tells
Franklin she is very upset that she broke the bond and the trust
between she and Sheridan.  She admits that she loved him and wanted to
protect him, but thinks she should have trusted him more than she did.
She tells Franklin that her fast will continue, and that should
Sheridan be dead, her soul will join his, and she will see him again,
in "the place where no shadows fall."  Franklin leaves her alone with
her grief.

<p>
Marcus comes in from the outside, and reports to G'Kar that the
Centauri guards are still chasing them.  G'Kar doesn't know why, and
Marcus explains that he is worried for exactly that reason.  G'Kar says
he thinks Marcus worries too much, but wants to know why he's there.
Marcus says he came to look after him in case he got into trouble.
G'Kar tells Marcus that he is planning to go back later and find out
more about Garibaldi's Starfury, but Marcus offers to do it instead,
since the guards are all too eager to find G'Kar.  Marcus asks G'Kar
why he is risking so much for Garibaldi, and G'Kar tells him that he is
doing it because Garibaldi was his friend, and he never had a friend
who wasn't a Narn.  Marcus says he's doing it because he never had a
friend who was a Narn--when he had them at all.  G'Kar picks up Marcus'
pike and looks at it, accidentally extending it while doing so.  G'Kar
says he likes the weapon very much.

<p>
The Centauri guards are with the bartender, looking through several
photos of Narns that may have been involved in the altercation in the
bar, and he eventually finds a photo of G'Kar and is able to identify
him.  The guards tell him there is a reward on G'Kar--dead or alive.
Meanwhile, the man from the bar awakens--due to Marcus dripping water
in his face.  Marcus threatens him, and demands to know where he got
the piece of the Starfury.

<p>
Delenn arrives in Captain Sheridan's quarters, where Franklin is going
through Sheridan's personal effects on Ivanova's orders.  While
looking through Sheridan's files, he found something he felt Delenn
should see.  He hands her a data crystal which she plays as soon as
Franklin leaves.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/log.jpeg" alt="">
"Personal log," says Sheridan on the screen, "May 14, 2260.  We
actually had a quiet day today--it's hard to believe with so much going
on lately.  Now that we've broken away from Earth, everything has hit
the fan.  It's not what I wanted.  Frankly, it scares the hell out of
me, but it had to be done.  The job now is to turn this around and make
it into something positive.  My dad always told me that's the only way
you deal with pain.  You don't surrender, you don't fight it--you turn
it into something positive.  He used to say, 'If you're falling off a
cliff, you may as well try to fly.  You've got nothing to lose.'  And
in a way, I feel the same way about Delenn.  During the war, I fought
Minbari, I killed Minbari, saw many of my friends die at Minbari
hands.  Here I am, in love with one of them.  For a long time, I
thought about not saying anything, but...  The moment my heart crossed
that line, there wasn't much I could do but see it through.  Yeah, I've
fallen off one hell of a cliff, but when I look in her eyes, I let
myself think, maybe I really can fly."

<p>
Marcus explains to G'Kar that the man got the location of the Starfury
from Interplanetary Expeditions, and that person would get one tenth of
the purchase price.  G'Kar says he plans to go to the place where the
ship was found to search out for more information.  G'Kar says that
Marcus should go back to Babylon 5 and search for the person from
Interplanetary Expeditions, and that Marcus should leave before he gets
offended.  G'Kar says he needs Babylon 5's resources more than he needs
Marcus' help.  Marcus leaves as G'Kar lays down to sleep.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/capture.jpeg" alt="">
G'Kar awakens to the sound of footsteps, and sees shadows outside.  As
they come closer, he grips his firearm tightly, but when they enter the
room, even though he gets off a few shots, he is taken down and knocked
unconscious.

<p>
Delenn and Lennier stand before the gathering of Rangers, and Delenn
tells them that, even though most of their work has, until this time,
gone unnoticed, they must strike a blow that will serve as an example
to all the others.  Lennier explains to them that the League of
Non-Aligned Worlds has dissolved, and that they must find those who
still believe in their cause.  He says they need a single rallying cry,
and Delenn wants it to be the Rangers.  She says their plan is to wait
seven days, for any other ships, and then attack Z'ha'dum.  They have a
small chance of success, but they must try anyway.  She tells the
Rangers that, with this attack, she is offering them the same chance to
fly that she heard in Sheridan's log.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/gift.jpeg" alt="">
There is a knocking at Londo's door, and after taking up a weapon in
case of danger, he answers the door to find the Emperor's advisor,
who says the Emperor wants Londo to come immediately.  Londo
changes out of his night clothes and goes to the Emperor's throne
room.  Though Emperor Cartagia is initially upset at the delay, he
tells Londo that he wishes to present him with a gift.  Londo attempts
to refuse, but Cartagia won't let him, and knows it's something Londo
has been waiting for for a long time.  Cartagia activates a signal, and
two Centauri guards enter flanking G'Kar, who is wearing a yoke.  Cartagia
says G'Kar is there for their amusement and that, should the amusement
cease, G'Kar will die.  Londo, not knowing what to say, decides only to
thank Cartagia for the gift.  Cartagia asks G'Kar if he has anything to
say, and G'Kar asks him only if he knows where Garibaldi is.  "Who?"
asks Cartagia.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/gbaldi.jpeg" alt="">
Garibaldi is, in fact, in a solidly built, round room, as if an
observation room, with no windows and a well-sealed door.  Garibaldi
pounds against it, but to no avail.  A voice coming from unseen
speakers tells him to refrain, as he might hurt himself.  Garibaldi
asks why they can't allow that, and the voice says merely that they
have their orders.  Garibaldi asks who the orders came from, but the voice
won't tell him.  The voice wants only to know what happened after he
left Babylon 5, and Garibaldi insists he doesn't remember, but the
voice says his vital signs indicate he isn't being honest.  This
outrages Garibaldi, but the voice only wants to hear the truth.  It
asks him time and again what happens, but Garibaldi insists he doesn't
remember.  Garibaldi loses control and begins smashing everything in
sight, including his chair and the lights in the room.  His rampage is
soon stopped, however, when a gas pours from vents in the floor,
knocking him unconscious.  The door to the room opens and someone
wearing a gas mask--atop their PsiCorps uniform-- steps into the room.

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/call.jpeg" alt="">
Londo enters G'Kar's cell, where the Narn is sitting in the corner.  Londo
says it was foolish for G'Kar to leave Babylon 5, and that he was
followed as soon as he left.  Londo tells G'Kar that, if he wanted to
die, he could have attended to it, but that, on Centauri Prime, he will
be afforded no such courtesy, and he will be tortured by
Cartagia--treated as a toy.  G'Kar will suffer for days, weeks, or
months, but when they are done, G'Kar will die a very time-consuming
and painful death, each of his organs being removed one at a time.
G'Kar asks if the idea pleases Londo, and Londo admits that it doesn't,
and that it never would have.  Londo says he would not wish G'Kar's
fate on anyone.  Londo tells G'Kar that Cartagia is a monster, and that
he must be removed.  G'Kar may be the means by which it can
be accomplished, but he will suffer greatly--something Londo
can't prevent.  Londo tells G'Kar he must endure until the time is
right, at which point Londo will act.  Londo asks if G'Kar will help,
but he doesn't answer.  Londo begins to leave, and G'Kar tells him the
price for his assistance--he will help remove Cartagia only if Londo
will free Narn.  Londo promises this to G'Kar, and then leaves the
room, casting a bright light onto G'Kar as he exits.

<p>
Sheridan, still trekking through the tunnels in Z'ha'dum, finds the
fire he set when he first woke up.  He realizes he has come full
circle, and Lorien says everyone does eventually.  Sheridan knows there
must be some way out, but Lorien says that the only way out is to
surrender to Tock.  Sheridan says he can't die, since he must aid the
Army of Light in the war, to prevent billions of deaths.

<p>
"It's a terrible thing when your children fight," Lorien tells him.  "I
warned the others, but they didn't listen.  They never listen."

<p>
"Your... children?" Sheridan asks.

<p>
"Metaphorically speaking.  Those who came after me.  Children.  Younger
siblings."

<p>
"How long have you been here?"

<p>
"A long time.  So long... I was old when the molecules of your world
joined and called themselves land and sea and fish and man."

<p>
"You're one of the First Ones."

<p>
"No, not one of the First Ones.  I am The First One."

<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/068/lorien.jpeg" alt="">
Sheridan knows Lorien knows a way out of Z'ha'dum, but wants to know
why he has stayed for so long.  Lorien says he's waiting for someone,
and that Sheridan is the first to make it as far as he has.  Sheridan
asks if the Shadows know, and Lorien says they do-- that's why they come
back to Z'ha'dum.  They believe they're showing respect, but they
don't understand.  "They used to," Lorien says, "but that was a long
time ago.  A million years."  Sheridan says Lorien doesn't look as old
as he is, and Lorien says he doesn't at the moment.  Sheridan finally
realizes his dream was of Lorien.

<p>
"Did you know you have a Vorlon inside you?" Lorien asks.  "Well, a
piece of one."

<p>
"If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die," Sheridan remembers Kosh saying.
"Jump... Jump now..."

<p>
"Kosh..." Sheridan realizes.

<p>
"Is that its name?  I think I met it once, long ago."

<p>
"He told me to jump.  Did he know..."

<p>
"That I was here?  Almost certainly."

<p>
"How..."

<p>
"They can break off pieces of their conciousness and put it into other
organisms.  It allows them to travel hidden through the galaxy, using
others as their eyes and ears.  Kosh is in you, and he's part of the
problem.  You're the other part.  You're both still clinging to life,
both afraid to let go.  You must lay down the burden of life, both of
you, and surrender yourself to Tock."

<p>
"No, I can't," Sheridan says.  "The others need me..."

<p>
"You can't turn away from death simply because you're afraid of what
might happen without you.  That's not enough.  You're not embracing
life, you're fleeing death.  So you're caught in-between, unable to go
forward or backward.  Your friends need what you can be when you are no
longer afraid--when you know who you are, and why you are, and what you
want.  When you are no longer looking for reasons to live, but can
simply be."

<p>
"I can't... I don't know how to do that."

<p>
"Then I cannot help you, and you will be caught forever in-between.
You must let go.  Surrender yourself to death.  The death of flesh.
The death of fear.  Step into the abyss... and let go."

<p>
"It's getting darker," Sheridan says, and the light around him starts
to vanish.

<p>
"I know.  You're close, friend.  Very close.  It's easy to find
something worth dying for.  Do you have anything worth living for?"

<p>
"I can't see you anymore..."

<p>
"As it should be."

<p>
"What if I fall?  How will I know if you'll catch me?"

<p>
"I caught you before."

<p>
"What if I die?"

<p>
"I cannot create life, but I can breathe on the remaining embers.  It
may not work."

<p>
"But I can hope..."

<p>
As the world around him disappears completely, the words of Lorien
continue to echo.  "Hope is all we have."

<p>
Sheridan then begins to reexperience his emergence onto the balcony
above the abyss, and his leap into it, as Lorien's voice echoes, asking
him again, "Do you have anything worth living for?"

<p>
While he falls, he remembers the voice of someone, a long time ago, on
the original White Star.  "Sleep now.  I will watch, and catch you if
you should fall."

<p>
Lorien stands over the body of Sheridan, outstretched at the bottom of
the abyss, after Sheridan delivers his answer, in the form of a single
word.

<p>
"Delenn!"