The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5
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<h3>Synopsis by Katrina Glerum (kat@midwinter.com)</h3>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/dream.jpeg">
Although the staff of Command and Control have survived attacks by
raiders, saboteurs, Centauri and their own fleet, they are staggered by
the sight of their very own Commander Ivanova-in the flesh, and nothing
else. She, however, is the soul of decorum, at least until she looks
down. Her horrified scream wakes her bolt upright. "God I hate dreams
like that!"
<p>
Vir is enjoying a little dream of his own, stroking the imperial
trappings as he waits in the throne room for a meeting with a royal
councilor. The minister congratulates him on his excellent reports
from Minbar, while chiding him for relying on Ambassador Molari's
misleading advice in creating them. He then shares a delightful little
joke. "What's more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns?
One angry Narn with a key!" Vir hurries back to his quarters where he
steps into a room full of angry Narns.
<p>
Susan shares some of her nightmares with the Captain at breakfast,
stopping short of describing this morning's. He suggests that her
subconscious is lagging behind her intellect in coming to terms with
the whopping changes in her status and prospects. But not to worry, it
will all pass. Besides, it could be worse, she could be dreaming she
was showing up to work naked, he teases her innocently.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/sword.jpeg">
Alone in his rooms, Londo is planning a vicious sneak attack. He
lashes out again and again, but alas, too short, too slow. Finally,
the kitchenette in disarray, he vanquishes his insect tormentor, and
lofts its wrecked little body high in the air on the end of a noble
ceremonial sword. Before his instant of triumph dissolves into
dismay at the realization that one bug indicates more, he is
interrupted by the arrival of a ravishing young Centauri lady.
<p>
Sheridan flirts with Delenn in the corridor, inviting her to dinner
that night in the lull before another crisis flattens them all.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=160 height=120 src="/lurk/gif/056/sayhello.jpeg">
Londo barely manages to keep his puckishness in check as he greets Vir
with casual inquiries about the court. Then he launches the surprise.
The lovely damsel is Vir's arranged bride, Lyndisty. Vir isn't
sure what to make of it. The whole arranged-marriage business is as
daunting as her stunning figure. She however seems certain that her
destiny lies with him.
<p>
Zack apprises Ivanova of an increase in the number of Narns passing
through the station with false documentation supplied by Vir. When
questioned by her later, Vir stammers that it's for the Narns' own
protection, that he's helping them by moving as many as he can to camps
on Centauri Prime, where conditions are much better than on the wrecked
Narn homeworld.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/flarn.jpeg">
John's excuses are flying just as fast when he presents his attempt at
flarn to Delenn. She forges though the meal stoically with subterfuge
and salt. Just as she gamely fills her plate, John dashes off to
respond to an emergency report of an assault in progress near Londo's
quarters, where an angry Narn is on a shankar rampage after Vir and
his wife.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/six.jpeg">
Ivanova calls Vir in again to find out why a Narn has declared this
blood oath against him, and to warn him of a second Narn out for
vengeance on the station. Vir claims to be completely in the dark
about that, among other things. Ivanova assures him that she is no one
to be giving advice on matters of sexual intimacy but he insists that
he knows no other women to ask. She uncomfortably counsels enthusiasm,
to Vir's enlightenment.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/dead.jpeg">
It is advice that two others scarcely need as their passion for one
another is quite overpowering. Susan only makes her day even more
awkward by interrupting them in a clinch in John's room. But she must
summon the Captain to Londo's quarters immediately. According to
records from the Centauri government, Vir's refugees are all dead.
Londo swells with pride for his protege
until Vir bursts out with the truth that the Narn have all been saved,
smuggled off Centauri Prime through Babylon 5 and other places,
and the records falsified so no Centauri will come after them.
<p>
In a day full of surprises, it is his bride who gives Vir the greatest
of them all when she presents him with the second Narn bound and gagged
on his chamber floor and ready for him to dispatch. She giggles at his
discomfort, explaining that when she lived on Narn after the war she
grew used to killing them. He grows more aghast at her callous attitude.
<br clear=all>
<p>
<img align=right width=128 height=96 src="/lurk/gif/056/demote.jpeg">
Mollari declares that Vir's embassy on Minbar has been terminated, and
all records of his actions have been expunged. But what truly cuts Vir
to the quick is Mollari's disappointment in him personally, and the fact
that Lyndisty is being sent back to Centauri Prime, where her family
will reevaluate the planned union.
<p>
Sheridan becomes somewhat testy to find Ivanova using his office in C &amp;
C. But she claims to have found a purpose now, namely, using Vir's false
authorization to continue the work of whisking a few Narn to safety.
<p>
Vir sees Lyndisty to her ship. Each thinks the other is sick, but believes
such odd notions about the Narn will pass with time. Vir kisses Lyndisty
goodbye, and they both vow to stay true to each other.