The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5
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<p> Earth Central has planned a cultural exchange where all alien
societies on B5 will have the opportunity to demonstrate their
dominant religious beliefs. Needless to say, this idea has caused
nightmares for the security officers; at the moment, Garibaldi is
trying to stop an alien from bringing a ceremonial knife aboard the
station. Suddenly, he sees Sinclair's old girlfriend, Catherine
Sakai, arrive on the station. He immediately leaves to warn
Sinclair.
<p> G'Kar is in his quarters, trying to have a quiet dinner when
he is interrupted by a Narn courier, Tu'Pari, who is carrying a
message that he claims to be important. After Tu'Pari leaves
G'Kar's quarters, G'Kar plays the message. The message turns out
to be from an old enemy of G'Kar, named D'Rog [spelling correction
pending]. "I bring what you doubtless will consider good news: I
am dying." G'Kar smiles in appreciation. The message continues,
"In fact, by the time you get this recording, I will already be
dead. Ah, but then, very shortly, so will you."
<p> D'Rog explains that G'Kar should not be surprised--vengeance
was inevitable after G'Kar humiliated D'Rog before the Narn Council
and ruined D'Rog's family's name. "You will be dead within 48
hours of receiving this message. Already, my agent is close to
you. You will not know who, or how, or where, until it is too
late." Just then, Na'Toth--G'Kar's new diplomatic attache--arrives
and reports for duty. G'Kar can do nothing but stare at her,
suspiciously.
<p> Sinclair, in his quarters, is getting ready for the Centauri
religious demonstration when Garibaldi arrives. Garibaldi warns
Sinclair that Catherine is on the station. Sinclair thanks him,
saying that he's happy to know that she's on board, so he can avoid
her. Then, suddenly, he asks if she came to the station alone or
with another man. Garibaldi replies that she was alone.
<p> The Centauri religious demonstration has begun. It is quite
a festival, with dancing, drinks, and pretty much everything else
you'd expect at a Centauri party. "It's a celebration of life,"
says Vir. Londo is immensely enjoying himself--drinking, crawling
up on the table, explaining Centauri household "gods," telling
Delenn that she's "very cute for a Minbari" and that Garibaldi is
"cute, too, in an annoying sort of way."
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/cute.gif" align=middle> "You're cute, too, in an
annoying sort of way."
<p> Finally, Londo falls to
the table, unconscious. Vir stands up and says, triumphantly,
"Ahh! He has become one with his inner self!"
<p> "He's passed out," comments Garibaldi, smugly.
<p> "That too," responds Vir.
<p> Meanwhile, Commander Sinclair--having had enough of the
Centauri demonstration and having left quietly in the middle--has
decided, after all, to see Catherine. After he finds her, they
speak for a while. She says that she hadn't known that Sinclair
was in command of the station--otherwise she wouldn't have come.
"I keep my promises.... I'll leave now if you want me to."
Sinclair won't hear of it, though. Instead, he invites her for
dinner. At length, she accepts: "This is how we get into trouble
every three years.... All right, just dinner."
<p> Later, G'Kar and Na'Toth are speaking in their quarters.
G'Kar is suspiciously pondering recent events--he mentions, his
assistant's, Ko D'ath's, recent death in an unlikely airlock
accident. He asks Na'Toth who sponsored her to be his attache;
when she answers, he notices that her sponsor's sponsor was none
other than D'Rog. He explains to her that D'Rog has hired someone
to kill him, and evidently this assassin is someone close to G'Kar.
Na'Toth only replies, "With all due respect, if it were me, you
wouldn't be here for us to have this conversation." G'Kar is
unsatisfied--according to D'Rog's message, G'Kar would be kept in
fear for a while before actually being killed--"the last thing he
wants is a quick death." He can still not discount Na'Toth as a
suspect.
<p> Na'Toth tries to reason with him: "How can you be sure there
<strong>is</strong> as assassin on board? What if he only told you this to
frighten you?" G'Kar replies that this is very unlikely.
<p> She thinks again, then explains that if D'Rog wanted to make
sure the assassination were carried through, he would have gone to
the "Assassins' Guild" to get a killer. She explains that killers
from the Assassins' Guide traditionally leave a black flower--a
"death blossom"--as a warning to their victims so that the victims
can tie up their affairs. She asks G'Kar if he's received one of
these flowers; he replies that he hasn't. "Then I wouldn't worry,"
she concludes, and adds, "I'm sure the question will resolve itself
soon enough."
<p> Later, G'Kar is sleeping in his bed when he is awoken by a
strange smell. He calls Na'Toth to his quarters to show her what
was left in his bed: a black flower. "You have no idea how
<strong>that</strong> got into my bed?" he asks.
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/gkar-asleep.gif" align=middle> G'Kar, about to
have a rude awakening.
<p> "Ambassador," comments Na'Toth, "it is not my place to
speculate on how anything gets into your bed. Your reputed
fascination with Earth women, for instance..." She goes on to
suggest that G'Kar see Commander Sinclair if he's worried. G'Kar
declines, saying that he prefers to fight his own battles--further,
his going to Sinclair might raise questions that he'd rather not
answer--questions concerning his years on the Council. "Personally,"
he says, "I don't care if the information comes out--my only
concern is that it might compromise our standing in the negotiations.
So we have to handle this quietly, for the sake of planetary
security." Na'Toth asks G'Kar why he is telling her all of this,
considering that she's currently under his suspicion. "Earthers
have a phrase: 'Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.'
I think they stole it from us." He adds that he also would like to
strengthen the relationship between them. He then tells Na'Toth to
find Tu'Pari, the courier who originally brought the message--G'Kar
wants to find out who gave the message to Tu'Pari. Tu'Pari must
still be on the station, according to G'Kar, because no Narn ships
have left B5 since the day before. "Finding him will be your first
test," he commands.
<p> Elsewhere on the station, Lennier--Delenn's new assistant--has
arrived on the station. He greets her as "Satai Delenn," addressing
her as a member of the Grey Council deserves to be addressed.
He further refuses to look straight at her; he only looks down; "It
is forbidden!" he says.
<p> "You can look up...." says Delenn, "I cannot have an aid who
will not look up. You will be forever walking into things." At
length, Lennier agrees.
<a name="satai-delenn">
<p> Lennier comments that he feels that he's in an awkward
position. He has been, he feels, greatly and suddenly promoted;
after all, he's now an assistant to a member of the Grey Council.
Delenn only comments that he received a high recommendation from
his teachers and that he will soon adjust. "You can begin by
promising not to mention the Grey Council again during your stay.
No one here knows of my connection; no one must find out."
<p> "But, to deny the Council--!" blurts Lennier.
<p> "I'm denying nothing. But it would lead to certain questions
that I don't want to answer just now. You will not use my title,
'Satai.' You will address me only as 'Delenn.' Do you understand?"
</a>
<p> He says that he does not--but that it doesn't matter:
"Understanding is not required--only obedience."
<p> G'Kar, in the meantime, has gone to N'Grath (the insect-like
vendor in the alien sector) to seek a bodyguard. In a few hours,
he will attend the Minbari religious ceremony, and he doesn't want
to be unprotected in public.
<p> Sinclair and Catherine Sakai are having dinner. They talk
about how they meet every few years, talk briefly, end up in bed
together, then go their separate ways. They both agree that their
relationship should not go on like this--it isn't worth it.
<p> The Minbari religious ceremony has begun. It is, needless to
say, quite the opposite of the Centauri celebration: It is orderly
and ceremonial. Delenn starts out by reading a story that deals
with death and renewal. Orderly music is played at certain points
in the story. Red pieces of fruit are then handed out; Delenn
tells everyone to eat them. She shows a slight interest in
Sinclair's eating the fruit, then moves on with the ceremony. "So,
it begins!" she says.
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/taste.gif" align=middle> "Taste of it."
<p> G'Kar, during the whole ceremony, has been extremely agitated,
because his bodyguard did not arrive. He storms into his quarters,
screaming and complaining; but Na'Toth only directs him into an
adjoining room. In that room, he sees the bodyguard sitting down,
quietly. He yells at him for a moment, then hits him in annoyance.
The bodyguard falls over stiffly, and it is evident that he has
been killed. Further, a black flower--the warning sign--is hanging
from the bodyguard's clothing.
<p> G'Kar has called Garibaldi into his quarters. Garibaldi
investigates the murder: "You just came in and found this guy dead
in your bedroom?" G'Kar explains that he has never seen the person
before and has no idea who he is or why he was in G'Kar's bedroom.
G'Kar claims, as an alibi, that he was at the Minbari ceremony when
this person was killed. Garibaldi agrees, but comments that G'Kar
seemed rather nervous and preoccupied at the ceremony. Garibaldi
continues his search of G'Kar's quarters, only to find a hot-pink
piece of woman's underwear behind the bed. G'Kar is, needless to
say, annoyed--he also doesn't like that Garibaldi continues to
question =him=. He orders Garibaldi out of his quarters, invoking
diplomatic immunity. "I brought you here as a courtesy," says
G'Kar. He tells Garibaldi that he should be spending more time
trying to find out who the murderer was, rather than questioning
G'Kar.
<p> Garibaldi humbly apologizes, but doesn't leave before
commenting, "And just let me say, ambassador, from the bottom of my
heart, hot pink is definitely your color."
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/hot-pink.gif" align=middle> "Hot pink is definitely
your color."
<p> Na'Toth, after considerable searching, finally finds Tu'Pari
and brings him back--under slight protest--to G'Kar.
<p> Catherine is meanwhile in the middle of a business negotiation.
She is giving information to her associates about a
planetoid which she has located and which she believes would be a
good candidate for mining. Her associates are satisfied, and also
offer her their congratulations--a valuable mineral was discovered
on a previous planet which she scouted, and, under the contract,
she is entitled to a percentage of the profits. When they show her
the amount of credits to which she is entitled, she is almost
speechless and quite surprised at her good fortune.
<p> Na'Toth has brought back Courier Tu'Pari to G'Kar's quarters.
He thanks her and sends her out, saying that he wants to speak with
Tu'Pari alone. She leaves. He grabs Tu'Pari by the neck and asks
who gave Tu'Pari the message to deliver. When Tu'Pari replies that
the message in from D'Rog, G'Kar merely tightens his grip and says
that D'Rog is dead. Tu'Pari then admits that the message is from
Councillor Sha'Toth, Na'Toth's father. "The danger is much closer
to you thank you think, ambassador," says Tu'Pari.
<p> Sinclair is in his quarters listening to Tennyson's
<a href="/lurk/making/ulysses.html"><cite>Ulysses</cite></a>
when Catherine enters. She brings some expensive wine and comments
that she has terrific news and is "tired of not having anyone to
share it with." She comments on his liking of old poetry: "What's
it take to drive you into the 23rd century?" She quotes some of it
to him; he is surprised to find that she has memorized it. She
responds, "I lived with you for a year--I didn't have much choice."
Sinclair comments that what she's doing right now may not be such
a good idea; however, she pleads with him not to send her out.
Although they have superficially agreed that their relationship is
over and that they have no feelings for each other any longer, she
says that "you don't just turn it off like a switch." She admits
that, even though they have been separated for a while, and even
though she has tried relationships with other men, she never
stopped thinking about him. After a bit of tension, they agree to
spend the night with one another.
<p> G'Kar is in his quarters, communicating with the Narn
homeworld. He is requesting that Na'Toth be reassigned immediately.
They confirm his request; further, they apologize for the
delays in communication. "What delays?" asks G'Kar.
<p> G'Kar's correspondent explains that the appointed courier met
with an unfortunate accident right before he was going to leave for
Babylon 5. They have not yet been able to find a replacement.
<p> "What are you talking about?" G'Kar asks. "The courier is
right here. I--" Suddenly, he realizes, and turns around to find
Tu'Pari staring at him, pointing a gun at him, and smiling evilly.
<p> The next morning, Catherine, in bed with Sinclair, is talking
with him. They reflect on their relationship, its longevity, and
its resilience--how it started at the academy, lasted through the
war, and somehow showed itself every three years since then. They
also speak of how things might be different this time ...
<p> Meanwhile, the assassin Tu'Pari has been waiting for Ambassador
G'Kar to awake. When G'Kar does awake, Tu'Pari gloats a bit
about how G'Kar's being awake will "make this far more interesting."
G'Kar, needless to say, is anger and runs toward Tu'Pari in
order to attack him. However, the devices (known as "pain-givers")
around G'Kar's neck and arms propel him back--in pain--before he
gets close enough to Tu'Pari to be threatening. "My orders are
quite specific," says Tu'Pari. "You are to know pain. You are to
know fear. And then, you are to die." However, he admits that it
will be a pleasure when the assignment is finished--"Allaying the
target's suspicions can be so time-consuming. Do you have any idea
how long I sat in the customs area waiting for Na'Toth to 'find'
me?"
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/know-pain.gif" align=middle> "You are to know
pain..."
<p> G'Kar tries to reason with Tu'Pari; he offers to double the
assassin's current payment if he will abort his mission.
<p> Tu'Pari notes how, though G'Kar could probably make him very
wealthy, to betray a commission would be a violation of the rules
and the spirit of the Assassins' Guild. Indeed, if Tu'Pari were to
violate those rules, the Assassins' Guild would then have to kill
=him=. To accentuate his point, he increases the intensity of the
pain-givers.
<p> Na'Toth enters G'Kar's quarters and, when she cannot find
G'Kar, orders the computer to replay the last transmission in which
G'Kar participated. The computer shows her ...
<p> Tu'Pari is continuing to use the pain-givers against G'Kar.
"The pain must be overwhelming. Why hold it in? Cry out, ambassador!"
<p> "I would die," retorts G'Kar, "before giving you that
satisfaction." However, it is evident that he is, indeed, in great
pain. However, just to be sure, Tu'Pari continues to raise the
intensity of the pain-givers. G'Kar does, eventually, indeed, cry
out.
<p> At that moment, Na'Toth finally enters. She explains how she
found Tu'Pari and G'Kar--she knew that Tu'Pari would want "complete
privacy," so she searched for and found which transport tube had
"suddenly broken down," as Na'Toth comments. Tu'Pari orders her
away, but Na'Toth refuses to leave. She claims to be Tu'Pari's
backup: "I have to finish the job in case you fail."
<p> Tu'Pari skeptically replies that he was not informed about any
backup.
<p> "No, the primary never is--standard practice in the Assassins'
Guild, as you well know," says Na'Toth.
<p> Still, Tu'Pari refuses to believe her. Na'Toth ignores him--
she comments on the "crude, unimaginative" pain-givers that are
being used on G'Kar, saying that they are much too quick--that
their orders were to prolong G'Kar's pain and discomfort as much as
possible until "the deadline."
<p> "And what would you recommend?" asks Tu'Pari, still skeptical.
<p> She answers with action: she brutally kicks him a few times,
picks him up, and repeatedly hits him, sending him falling out of
the room.
<p> But Tu'Pari is still unmoved. "And this is the part," he
says, "where I'm supposed to decide I trust you, drop my guard, and
let you shoot me in the back? Sorry, but I can't take the chance
that you're lying." However, just by saying this, his guard was
lowered enough. G'Kar, whose pain-givers are no longer activated,
quickly rushes up to Tu'Pari and knocks him unconscious.
<p> "That hurt!" he says to Na'Toth, in a friendly way.
<p> "Ambassador," she answers, "it was the only way to disable the
pain-givers. I had to hit them as hard as possible, as often as
possible, and still make it appear as though I were beating you
into another incarnation."
<p> "And you didn't enjoy it in the least?" he asks.
<p> "I didn't say that!" she jokingly responds. She asks what
G'Kar will do with Tu'Pari....
<p> Three days later, when Tu'Pari awakes, he is annoyed to find
that he has been unconscious for so long. G'Kar explains that to
make up for any inconvenience, he has deposited a large sum of
money in Tu'Pari's personal account at home. Tu'Pari realizes what
this means--the Assassins' Guild will think he betrayed his
commission, and it will not take kindly to what it believes to be
a violation of its rules.
<p> G'Kar smiles and is glad to realize that he has nothing to
fear from the Guild any longer--the commission was Tu'Pari's alone,
and because the Assassins' Guild will be so embarrassed by this
incident, they'd prefer to forget it all never happened--except for
killing Tu'Pari if they find him. Happily, G'Kar and Na'Toth send
Tu'Pari on his way, both saying, "You will know pain, and you will
know fear, and then you will die. Have a pleasant flight."
<p>
<img src="/lurk/gif/005/pleasant.gif" align=middle> "Have a pleasant flight."
<p> Sinclair and Catherine are saying goodbye to one another.
However, they both agree that this time will be different--"I'm not
leaving, this time," says Sinclair.
<p> "This should be interesting," responds Catherine. She then
asks him what he's planning for Earth's religious demonstration.
He replies that he has no idea--and that he also has no idea how
he'll top the Minbari demonstration, with all its "Bells, drums,
robes, and little pieces of fruit."
<p> "Red fruit?" she asks, her interested piqued. "And was there
a serious exchange of looks?" He says that there were--it's part
of the rebirth ceremony, he says. She laughs and says that that
type of ceremony can also double as a marriage ceremony--"depending
on how seriously anyone took it, somebody got married the other
day."
<p> "Maybe that's why G'Kar's smiling. Funny, I didn't think
Londo was his type," Sinclair jokes.
<p> Catherine leaves, but says she'll return soon. They both
wonder if they'll "get it right this time."
<p> Sinclair has finally arranged Earth's religious demonstration.
He brings the alien ambassadors into a room which contains hundreds
of people, all of different religions. Sinclair moves along a line
formed by them, introducing them one-by-one to the aliens. There
were, as the aliens commented, no drums, no bells, no chants--only
a showcase of Earth's proud diversity.
<p>
Shawn Bayern
<em>bayern@cshl.org</em>
<hr>
Copyright 1994, Shawn Bayern. All rights reserved. Permission is
granted to distribute this synopsis <strong>noncommercially</strong> as long as
the synopsis and this copyright notice remain intact. Babylon 5 is
a copyright of the PTN Consortium; no infringement of that
copyright is intended by writing these synopses.