lurkers-guide/synops/090

<h3>Synopsis by Arturo Magidin (magidin@math.berkeley.edu)</h3>

<P>
Sheridan and Delenn are sleeping in her quarters when she is awakened
by a call. The caller, Ruell, has received a message, ostensibly from
Delenn, indicating that Lennier will return to Minbar
permanently. Ruell is calling to arrange for a replacement, or as many
replacements as Delenn may desire. But this is the first Delenn has heard
about it.

<P>
Meanwhile, Londo, Vir and Zack Allan are in Impound Area 31. Londo is
protesting the impounding of his very fine brevare; Babylon 5 has had
a problem with infestations recently, and Zack's orders are that all
foods are to be impounded for three days. Londo grows ever more
annoyed and abusive, and Vir takes Zack aside to talk to him. Londo
seizes the opportunity to open a bottle and take a drink. A few
seconds later, he drops the bottle and falls convulsing on the floor.
Londo is taken to Medlab, where Dr. Franklin takes over.

<P>
Lennier enters Delenn's quarters and begins discussing her schedule for
the day. But Delenn tells him of Ruell's call and asks for an
explanation. Lennier, who was planning on telling her later that day,
is surprised that Ruell moved so fast. He awkwardly explains he does
not feel needed anymore, now that Sheridan has become Delenn's "other
half." He feels in the way and uncomfortable, but he does not blame
either Delenn or Sheridan.

<P>
"I know why," whispers Delenn, which only makes the surprised Lennier
even more uncomfortable. He assures her he will keep his vow of being
ever at her side should she need him, but he has decided to join the
Rangers and has been accepted. Despite the dangers involved in being a
Ranger, he will leave the following morning. Ever since Marcus' death,
explains Lennier, he has felt a loss of a part of himself, a part he
hopes to find again this way. He also hopes to earn Delenn's
respect. "You always had my respect," says Delenn. "Yes, in most
ways," replies Lennier. "But I only wish to add a few more, to become
more of what you may want me to be; more of what you may find... My
decision is made," he concludes. He promises to visit between training
cycles, but he assures Delenn that this is the calling of his heart
and he must follow it.

<P>
Garibaldi finds Vir in the Zocalo, and explains that Londo was not
poisoned. He has suffered a serious heart attack to the left heart. As
Franklin explains to Sheridan in MedLab, because of Centauri
physiology, there isn't much he can do to help Londo. Londo's diet and
stress have seriously affected his health, and he is not responding
well to therapy. Centauri Prime is sending an artificial heart system,
but it will take at least three days to get to Babylon 5. The best
Franklin can promise is to keep Londo alive 24 hours on life support.

<P>
Late in the evening, Delenn is standing watch over the unconscious
Londo. Sheridan joins her, and they agree that, despite everything,
they will miss Londo if he dies. Sheridan also brings up Lennier's
recent decision, and Delenn confirms Sheridan's fear that Sheridan is
at least part of the reason Lennier has decided to leave.

<P>
Before they leave, Sheridan explains that if Londo makes it through
the night, he has a chance. But at this point it is no longer up to
medical science or Dr. Franklin. Londo himself must fight to make it
through. "Good luck, Mollari. Good luck," says Delenn softly, and they
both leave MedLab.

<P>
Meanwhile, Londo is dreaming. He is somewhere in Down Below, and he
hears Delenn's disembodied voice wishing him luck. He wanders a bit
looking for her, and eventually enters a dark room, where a figure is
veiled and shrouded in black. It is Delenn, who invites him to
sit. She tells Londo that he is dying. "I know," he replies.

<P>
"Do you want to live?" asks Delenn. "What difference does it make?"
replies Londo. Besides, he says, it is better to die this way than
at G'Kar's hands, which he has dreamt for twenty years
now. Perhaps he should die now, to spite fate if nothing else.

<P>
"Do you want to live?" asks Delenn again. "What difference does it
make?" replies Londo yet again. Nobody in Centauri Prime cares one way
or another. Delenn lifts her veil, revealing her face, and asks yet
again. "Do you want to live?" Londo does not respond, and Delenn tells
him she is not allowed to ask again. "Yes. Yes, I want to live,"
whispers Londo.

<P>
But that isn't enough, says Delenn. A word is also required, she adds,
but she will not explain what she means. "I do not understand,"
says Londo to himself. "Yes you do," replies the disembodied voice of
Delenn. Londo finds himself alone in darkness, and as he turns and
walks into it, the silhouette of G'Kar appears next to him.

<P>
Vir is sitting at the bar in the Zocalo, nursing a drink, when he is
joined by Lennier. They start to talk, each having heard about the
situation the other is going through. Eventually, they stand up to
leave. Vir promises to catch up with Lennier on the latter's next
visit, and says goodbye using the traditional Minbari farewell. But
overcome, he then hugs the clearly uncomfortable Lennier before they
each go their separate ways.

<P>
In his dream, Londo is walking towards the bar in the Zocalo. The
Zocalo is empty, as is the bar and all the bottles in it. But
suddenly, Sheridan is sitting next to him. Londo asks him if one ever
gets used to being dead, and Sheridan replies that he was only dead
long enough to know he didn't like it. As they walk away from the bar,
Sheridan asks Londo about the latter's prophetic dream of his own
death. Londo tells him he has always felt Sheridan would be there, but
has never been able to understand that part. Finally, Londo tells
Sheridan he does not want to die. "Then turn around," answers
Sheridan. Londo is startled, but doesn't turn. "Turn around," repeats
Sheridan, more sternly. "I cannot! Don't you understand?" whispers
Londo, who can sense that standing behind him is G'Kar. "Then you'll
die," says Sheridan simply, and turns into a ball of light and
disappears.

<P>
Meanwhile, Londo's body continues to deteriorate. In a desperate bid
to keep him alive, Franklin injects a drug directly into the left
heart, causing Londo to clutch at his chest in agony inside his
dream. Franklin stabilizes Londo, but the latter's body is under too
much strain and will not be able to take this much longer. With only a
few hours left until morning, Franklin decides to stay at Londo's
bedside should anything occur. "A deathwatch?" asks Vir, who has just
walked into MedLab. "Maybe," answers Franklin. "We'll just have to
wait and see."

<P>
Londo is lying on the floor in the darkness of his dream. "I don't
want to die," he pleads sobbing. "Please, Great Maker, I don't want to
die! Not like this, please!"

<P>
"You are afraid," says Vir inside the dream. "Yes," answers
Londo. "Then don't die," replies Vir, echoing his words at Londo's
bedside. Londo doesn't think he has a choice, but in the dream Vir
disagrees. There is a choice to make, but it must be made quickly.

<P>
"What is wrong with me?" asks Londo. "Your heart can no longer bear
the weight of your conscience," replies Vir. Londo claims there is
nothing wrong with his conscience, but refuses to turn around at Vir's
urging, again sensing G'Kar behind him. He invokes the prophetic dream
of his death as proof that he will survive this, but Vir
disagrees. "Prophecy is a guess that comes true. When it doesn't, it
becomes a metaphor," says Vir, adding, "You are out of time,
Londo. Turn around!" "I can't. I don't know what he wants of me!"
complains Londo. "Yes you do!" replies Vir. Londo answers that perhaps
his death would be for the best, but Vir disagrees. "No, not for the
best. Because I will miss you." "And I suppose," replies Londo,
touched by Vir's sentiment, "that I will miss you." Londo turns and
walks into the darkness.

<P>
His body goes into shock, as Franklin calls for a trauma team. G'Kar
enters MedLab silently, and watches as Londo starts convulsing. "Now,
Mollari," says G'Kar in Londo's dream. "Now we end this."

<P>
Then G'Kar and Londo are in the Throne Room of the Imperial Palace in
Centauri Prime, where Londo claims he does not want the throne. G'Kar
tells him it is because he knows he does not deserve it. He reminds
Londo that he stayed silent and said nothing when the Centauri used
asteroids and mass drivers on the Narn homeworld (<a
href="../guide/042.html">"The Long, Twilight Struggle."</a>) Then they
find themselves in Emperor Cartagia's Shadow Cabinet room, where G'Kar
was whipped (<a href="../guide/069.html">"The Summoning."</a>) G'Kar
reminds him of the torture he endured at Cartagia's orders, and again
accuses Londo of saying nothing while he witnessed it. "It would not
have mattered!" counters Londo. "It wouldn't have changed anything,
it wouldn't have stopped."  "You are wrong, Mollari," says
G'Kar. "Whether it was me or my world, whether it was a total stranger
or your worst enemy, you were a witness! It doesn't matter if they
stopped, it doesn't matter if they listened. You had an obligation to
speak out!" "I couldn't!" "And that is why," concludes G'Kar, "you
don't deserve to be Emperor."

<P>
Londo clutches at his left heart, and G'Kar tells him he is only
moments away from dying.  "There must be something I can do," pleads
Londo. "Only one word was required of you the first time we stood
here, and only one word is required now," replies G'Kar. Londo reaches
out to grab at G'Kar, but finds himself chained to a column, dressed
in rags. G'Kar, sitting in Cartagia's place, demands a word, a single
word, as Londo is whipped with the electro-whip. At the same time,
Franklin is delivering electric shocks to Londo's body, trying to get his
hearts beating again. At the 39th stroke of the whip, Londo screams in
his dream, and his hearts begin to beat weakly but steadily.

<P>
Londo, again standing in the darkness, pleads for his life,
sobbing. G'Kar, towering above him, explains that Londo is not sorry
for what he did, but only for getting caught, for almost destroying
his homeworld. Despite his denials at these accusations, Londo does
not say the word; he has never apologized for anything in his
life. "It's your life, Mollari," says G'Kar. "Make of it what you
will." He leaves Londo, now crying openly, alone.

<P>
"I'm sorry!" yells Londo finally, as his condition stabilizes and his
left heart begins to operate normally. Londo wakes up and sees G'Kar
standing silently close to his bed. With growing strength, he says:
"Sorry... Sorry... I'm sorry, G'Kar... I'm sorry." G'Kar is deeply affected
and walks out of MedLab, leaving the flabbergasted Vir behind. Londo
falls back asleep.

<P>
Londo, much recovered, is complaining to Vir about the food in Medlab, and how
he will not be able to cut down on the stress, either on Babylon 5 or on
Centauri Prime, should he return. "The Universe is an evil place,"
says Londo. "But at least it has a sense of humor."

<P>
In Docking Bay 4, Lennier waits for his transport to come. Just as
Rangers walk in and go into formation, Delenn enters and complains
that Lennier didn't even say goodbye. "No, never goodbye," replies
Lennier. "I'm yours forever, Delenn, heart, body and soul. I will see
you again in a little while, and with luck, I will perhaps be a better
person." "That is not possible, Lennier," says Delenn, "but you are
welcome to try. Be well, my good and dear friend." "And you," replies
Lennier, then joins the Rangers and leaves. Sheridan enters the bay
and silently embraces Delenn, as they walk back to the station.